the secret lives of prothros.

February 16, 2011

19 Weeks

Filed under: Uncategorized — prothro @ 4:07 pm

Today I am officially 19 weeks into pregnancy, just one week from the halfway mark.

Pregnancy immediately brings all kinds of new questions into the picture. I have googled the most unusual things of my life over the past four months. A public record of my searches would be beyond embarrassing.

One of the most constant questions I ask myself is “Should I ________ or take a nap?” As you can tell, when it comes to blogging, napping always wins. If you were at my house, you’d see the same is generally true of doing the laundry.

Today, though, I will blog. About pregnancy.

I never intended to blog about pregnancy or its woes, but then I started thinking of how much better and more sane it would have made me feel to read that someone else had a rough pregnancy too. That I wasn’t alone. On a 1-10 scale, I’d rate pregnancy as a 3-5 depending on the day. I’ve only found one other friend that has felt that way (and thank God for the sanity she brought!) Most of the blogs I’ve read on pregnancy have been happy and upbeat and while that makes me happy for that momma, it doesn’t make me feel much better. So I figured, a little honesty now may encourage some other pregnant friends that are having a rough time not to feel isolated and all those happy pregnant friends to be extra happy that they got it so good. I dedicate this to you, pregnant women of the world.

There’s no reasoning yourself out of it

  • Neither my mind nor my emotions function well during pregnancy. They are attacked by the hormone monster and rendered forgetful and irrational.
  • I got into a very convinced debate with Evan after I overheard him telling someone we were due in July. I informed him, with conviction, that we were due in June and I would know because I’m counting down the days on my what to expect app and I should know these things because I’m the mom etc. He told me to check the app again. Our baby is due July 14. Awesome. I’m already forgetting my kid’s birthday.
  • For Evan’s birthday, I bought him an awesome circular saw. Apparently, I have great taste because he already owns it and I watched him use it a few days before I bought it for him. I thought I was so original….

Cravings are cruel

  • I haven’t had many cravings during pregnancy but I have wanted smoothies, constantly. Really though, it’s been a big mean joke. Every time I have a smoothie I get sick. Then what do I want? Another smoothie. Mean.Cruel.Ineffective. I now ignore smoothies and harbor bitterness against them in my heart.
  • Wine has never smelled better in all of my life. I truly think I could be a world class wine taster with my new olfactory senses and the ability to drink to my heart’s content. That may cause me to have a flipper baby though so I guess I won’t realize my dream of becoming Food & Wine’s next wine master of the month.

Sickness Everlasting

  • It’s surprising how if you’re sick long enough you forget what it feels like to be well. The definition of a good day just transforms in your mind to some new thing that would have never have been good before. Eventually, my doctor put me on this amazing medicine that chemo patients get for radiation sickness and I could not believe what it felt like to be well. I think I cried because I was so happy to know that a thing like wellness still existed.
  • Medicine was a wonderful turning point of pregnancy for me. Until I realized that with medication, came side effects. They got to the point that they were worse than being sick in the first place so now there is a catch-22 and I have to always assess the lesser of two evils before taking meds.
  • I’ve been waiting to enter the magical, mystical world of the 2nd trimester, where pregnancy become a land of rainbows, laughter and Bollywood dancers singing Jai Ho. This has yet to happen. In fact, when I first entered the 2nd trimester with all of my anticipation, I got sicker. Much sicker. The first month of my 2nd trimester was the worst so far. Maybe my baby has a broken internal clock and did not know it was Bollywood happy time.
  • The other bummer of feeling sick is that the solution most suggested is to eat more. Unfortunately, that is the last thing any sane person wants to do when they feel sick. Not to mention I dislike several food groups at the moment. The saddest aversion I have is beef. You may remember that we recently acquired an entire fridge full of grass-fed beef. Well, fridge is still full. We can barely fit ice cream in it. I hope Cooper (the cow in my freezer) forgives my neglect and retains his deliciousness until I choose to finally eat him.
  • This is also probably why I’ve only gained a pound so far and I should have gained between 8-10. You would not think this to look at me because I’m definitely growing. Apparently, the law of conservation of mass does not apply to pregnant women.

 

So there is a small overview of the pregnant me. Hopefully, I left out enough detail to avoid the dreaded TMI-mommy syndrome and included enough to give an honest view of pregnancy. I tried to be funny about it but honestly it is hard. Being sick, crazy and tired are difficult on their own but being that way for four solid months is something totally different and something that can become utterly disheartening.

Here is the bright side:

A human is growing inside of me.
That is absolutely miraculous and worth whatever misery it entails. The baby started kicking at week 17, which is pretty early for first time pregnancies. It is a nice reminder that their is a purpose to pain.

My husband is the most wonderful man on earth. I believe that sincerely. He has shown such gentle kindness and understanding to me over the past few months. He has been carrying the weight of our marriage since I got pregnant without grumbling, complaining or receiving much in return. He has served me and our baby so selflessly. I don’t know how I would function without him. Just thinking about it has filled my eyes with tears, and not the crazy-pregnant-lady tears I get when I think AT&T is trying to be mean to me but the appreciative, sincere tears of true love and awe.

I’m also especially thankful to Gina and Schmalls, who have been getting the unabridged version and loving me anyways.

 

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7 Comments »

  1. I totally know what you mean about forgetting what it feels like to actually feel good. I almost forgot what it was like to not throw up or at least spend the day (and night) figuring out where restrooms are because you’re pretty sure you’re going to any moment. Luckily I started to feel good day before yesterday so I really hope that happens soon for you as well. I’m curious about the side effects of the meds, but I suppose that may fall into the tmi category, so I’ll have to ask you in person later. 😉 I’ve met many women who are not a fan of pregnancy, only the babies it brings, so you are not alone! P.S.-Don’t believe anyone who tells you that your brain never comes back. It does…..when the baby starts sleeping through the night! 🙂

    Comment by Katie — February 16, 2011 @ 4:38 pm

  2. I am so sorry you have no felt well, but I am so glad you felt like blogging. I am so excited to meet baby Pro!

    Comment by JHIll — February 16, 2011 @ 6:00 pm

  3. Oh Julie … not to fear … the precious-ness that is Baby Protho will far outweigh the yuckiness of being pregnant. I am going to be praying right now for a deliverance from the “yuckies” and renewal of energy and health. I think some fresh air in Sabinal Texas will do the trick. Can’t wait to see you guys in 5 short weeks. Much love to all 3 Prothos. X0X0X0X

    Comment by Theresa Whitney — February 17, 2011 @ 7:58 am

  4. Holy cow I can’t wait for you to get here in March so I can hear the whole unabriged version. THe worst bit of advice I got during that godforsaken (oh yes, FORSAKEN) first trimester was: “oh! but the sickness is so good! It means healthy baby!” Rotten, rotten baby.
    Good thing he turned out so cute. Yours will be just as marvelous…I cannot wait to be an aunt! 🙂

    Comment by Meg — February 17, 2011 @ 9:57 am

  5. Loved this post. Thank you for sharing – both you transparency & your humor!

    Comment by joy — February 17, 2011 @ 12:05 pm

  6. Oh, Julie, if you only knew how I’d been anticipating the great pregnancy blog! You are so hilarious. The real story is always much better than the rainbows and leprechauns (yes I just googled the spelling of that word). The way you blog never leaves anyone feeling envious because you are truthful with the hard parts and humble about the good. That’s one of the highest blogland compliments I can give. SO excited for you and Evan!

    Comment by Emily Roman — February 17, 2011 @ 3:05 pm

  7. Funny. Stuff. I miss you! Sorry we missed you last weekend. Come back soon so we can compare preggo bellies and tell stupid baby stories to make ourselves feel better. 🙂

    Comment by Darcie — February 17, 2011 @ 9:05 pm


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