the secret lives of prothros.

August 30, 2010

Case of the Mondays

Filed under: Uncategorized — prothro @ 8:12 am

So far today I almost choked to the point of suffocation while taking my vitamins–no not the gummy ones–(that would be far to embarrassing) and I forgot to put coffee in the filter before I brewed. Again.

Case of the mondays.

August 25, 2010

ACL Roundup: Bands that Start with the Letter F

Filed under: ACLfestival — prothro @ 9:55 am

So here comes the sixth installment of my ACL schedule making nightmare and today we have the F bands. Today I have something even more fun–free stuff!! If you click this here link, you get 10 free ACL band songs from iTunes. Easy, peasy, lemon squeezie.

So onto the ranking of the bands (according to my likeliness of going to see them):

First Aid Kit- First Aid  Kit is made up of two Swedish sisters with those Regina Spektor kind of voices.  There are some moments when I’m relieved that they start singing together, as it’s a vast improvement and then others when I wish the wouldn’t. I think they’re both quite talented but I think their music is so similar to so many others’. I feel like I’ve heard it all before and too often. I wish they took more risks in their music as I think they have the talent to back it up, but as is, it’s a bit too basic. (I think I’m extra hard on them because they could be much better.)
My Vote: 2

Flaming Lips- I love me some Flaming Lips and from what I’ve heard their concerts do not disappoint. Combine an acoustic sing-a-long of Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots with Wayne Coyne in a giant hamster ball rolling over the audience and I think we can all agree it will be a good time. This may also be the appropriate time to mention that I think if I ever do a wall of framed records in my house, a Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots vinyl will definitely have a place.
My Vote: 4

Foals- The ACL website attributes Foals to the math-rock genre. I’m uncool and didn’t know what that meant so naturally I wiki-ed it. Math rock is “a rhythmically complex, guitar-based style of experimental rock music that emerged in the late 1980s. It is characterized by complex, atypical rhythmic structures (including irregular stopping and starting), angular melodies, and dissonant chords.” I think it’s safe to say, that I like math rock and Foals. Their music has a mix of instruments from xylophones to synthetics to African drums. They’re another band whose music makes it hard not to dance, which is dangerous as it can lead to extreme embarrassment.
My Vote: 4

Frances England- I think I would be totally into Frances England if I was 20 years younger. She’s another sweet, indie-folk singer of children’s music. I’m only assuming she’s sweet but most people that choose to play to an audience of 5 year olds are. As I listen to her music, I’m trying to imagine what it’s like to take a kid to ACL. My imagination is not producing happy thoughts about it.
My Vote: 1

Frank Turner- I didn’t love The Outdoor Type which was the first of his songs I heard but his other songs pleasantly surprised me. His accent oozes through his upbeat, somewhat folky tunes–and who doesn’t love an accent?  His music video for photosynthesis is particularly endearing–singing a ballad about refusing to grow up and settle to a class of elementary kids. Yes, my vote has gone up at least a point as I’ve listened. He keeps growing on me.
My Vote: 4

August 24, 2010

Are you worried I haven’t been eating?

Filed under: Uncategorized — prothro @ 11:26 am

Don’t worry I have. And how. Just haven’t gotten around to writing what I’m eating but here it is:

MONDAY: Tilapia with Caper Sauce and Brocoli

TUESDAY: Out to dinner with Papa Pro

WEDNESDAY: Teriyaki Dijon Chicken with Roasted Asparagus

THURSDAY: Friends over for dinner and I’m still on the fence about what we’re having

FRIDAY: Chile Garlic Shrimp over Rice with Green Beans

SATURDAY: Weizel Wedding Weekend!

SUNDAY: Grilled Shrimp and Veggies

August 23, 2010

what’s up now?

Filed under: Uncategorized — prothro @ 2:59 pm

Hey!

I’m Giada and I can tread water.

Yeah.

What’s up now?

August 18, 2010

ACL Roundup: Bands that Start with the Letter E

Filed under: ACLfestival — prothro @ 8:21 am

Here we are, on to the E bands. I’m a little bit thrilled that there are only two of them.

So it is the same deal, different day. Bands are ranked 1-5 based on my likelihood of seeing them. 5 is most likely and 1 is least likely.

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes-This band of 10-12 tours in a big white bus, which perfectly suits their 70’s hippie vibe. They’re all about joy and love and healing and Edward Sharpe is the personification of it all. Sharpe is not the lead singer’s name but rather the name of the messianic savior created for his unpublished novel. Their shows are filled with love, tears, tambourines and sunny vocals. They’re purported to be amazing, spiritual experience for a generation that missed out on Woodstock. Just not sure I’m that interested…
My Vote: 3

Elizabeth Mitchell-Elizabeth has a gorgeous, peaceful, calming voice that just makes me want to take a nap or sit in a circle for song time with a bunch of five-year olds. I assure you this is calculated–her audience is children. Hearing the little voices sing along with her kind of melts my heart. Precious. I won’t be seeing her at ACL but there are very good chances that I’ll be checking her out in 5 years when I have little kidlets all my own. This kids’ music is a far, pleasant cry from Psalty. Oh Psalty!
My Vote: 1

August 17, 2010

some letters

Filed under: Uncategorized — prothro @ 10:47 am

Dear People Driving on Old Mill Rd. this morning,
Thank you for your looks of concern. No, in fact, I wasn’t seizing from running in the heat. Nope, that is what my dancing looks like. I know that maybe I should focus more on my running than my dancing but I had to make a deal with myself: if I woke up in the morning to endure the grueling torture of running, I committed to reward myself with the freedom to dance or sing when a song so moved me. So I’m just keeping my word–blame the Black Eyed Peas. I know you also saw me stick my head in someone’s lawn sprinklers. Really, I’m unsure why this perplexed you so much. It’s stinking hot outside. And hotter still because I snooze-buttoned myself into running an hour later and 5 degrees hotter. So eyes forward next time, okay, Mr. Gawky? I promise I won’t kill anyone’s lawn by taking a quick spattering of their sprinkler water. Also, would you mind forwarding this letter to the man on Goldfinch that heard my singing while he was out watering his plants? I think I scared him. Thanks.
With love,
The Reluctant Runner

Dear Raid,
First of all, thank you for making your far-distance-spraying, kill-on-contact wasp killer. I need it. I appreciate it. However, would you mind metering the spray intensity down a bit? I feel pretty dumb when I use half a can to kill three wasps. And I’m already feeling dumb enough ducking and running from a predator smaller than my big toe. I know I may be foolish to believe that my ego is more important to you than your bottom line, but I thought it was worth a shot.
With love,
The One Can a Week Wasp Killer

Dear Squirrels,
I still hate you. We are not friends again.
No love for you,
Patio Cushion Owner

Dear Coffee Pot,
I’m sorry that I’ve been putting you through so much extra work lately. I don’t mean to keep forgetting important things like actually adding coffee to the filter. I know how annoying it must be to spend all that time just to brew water. I’m sure it made you feel silly and inferior like a mere water kettle. To top it all off, you can’t communicate to tell me how obnoxious my forgetfulness has become. So I just want you to know that I understand. And I’m sorry. If you need someone to vent to, try your friends in the laundry room. They know all about the extra work that my forgetfulness causes. Once they had to re-wash a load three times because I kept forgetting to transfer it to the dryer. Just don’t get bitter and plan an appliance revolt. I’m not sure I could handle that.
All apologies,
The Committee Head for Appliance Feelings Management

Dear Spokane Valley,
Give me back my husband!!!!
Resentful of the lure of your fine weather,
The Lonely Wife

August 11, 2010

ACL Roundup: Bands that Start with the Letter D

Filed under: ACLfestival — prothro @ 11:06 am

Why did I start doing this? I ask myself that every time I endeavor on one of these posts. Oh well, onward and upward with the d bands…

As always, votes are on a 1-5 scale based on my likelihood of seeing the band at ACL with 5 being most likely. This is not based on actual talent, or any other credible criteria, just me. But I think basing my ACL schedule on just me is a pretty good way to go.

Dan Black: Dan Black is a British pop artist who is of no relation to Davinci Code author, Dan Brown. Just two Dans with colors for last names. No relation. No that that’s settled let’s discuss something else–genre. Dan is classified in a genre called wonky pop, which brings to my mind that fizzy juice Charlie drank in the Chocolate Factory but apparently there is once again: no relation. Wonky pop is a genre of music defined as quirky, catchy and credible via wikipedia. I think it fits. His music is what you’d expect to be playing at some swanky clubster lounge, which let’s be real, is not a place I’d hang out by choice.  His songs are a little haphazard swinging from great beats that I can’t help but enjoy to slower more whiney ballads. He mixes rap beat samples with orchestra strings. The last thing I would expect to find myself labeling his music is attainable. But that’s the word I’m giving it. It’s a genre and style that  is very not me but somehow he makes it utterly attainable for me to grasp and enjoy.
My Vote: 4

David Bazan: David was the frontman of Pedro the Lion. Fun fact. If I was to give his solo debut a word, it would be personal–and I mean really personal. Like when I listen to the lyrics I feel like someone is reading pages from their diary, and not just the pretty stuff but the ripped-out pages that you don’t even read to yourself because you’re scared that just by reading them you might make the feelings even more true. The subject matter is intense too, chronicling his journey from faith to agnosticism, alcoholism and doubt. The harsh, sad words are intertwined with a much softer, sweeter instrumentation, using synthesizers, steel guitars and piano keys to make the sadness palpable. And really the album is sad, hearing his words makes my heart break. I think he could be one of the best songwriters I’ve ever heard.
My Vote: 4

Dawes: Dawes is a folky band from California. They’re apparently a pretty young group which surprises me because they have an old-school kind of musical maturity that reminds of The Eagles. To give them their true compliment though, I need to rehash a scene from the movie CrazyHeart, which you should see, Jeff Bridges is top five amazing! There is a scene where he’s laying around singing with this guitar and he asks Jean if she knows the song, and she replies that she can’t remember who did it and he tells her that’s the way it is with good ones, you’re sure you’ve heard them before. Well that’s how I feel about Dawe’s When My Time Comes, I’m sure I’ve heard it before, though I haven’t–it’s a great tune.
My Vote: 4

Deadmau5: I think I’m in a weird mood today because I am really liking all the music I’m hearing. Either that or bands that start with D are naturally amazing. Deadmau5 is electronic house music and the lead performer dresses up like a mouse and often performs from a giant cube with crazy awesome light displays. I think this performance/spectacle will be one of the highlights of ACL. I feel weird saying that because I’m not into electronic house at all, but there is something about it that is terribly enjoyable. I think it has something to do with the fact that you can dance to it without taking yourself even 0.5% seriously. So freeing–because I can’t dance, but I sure like to jump up and down and do the Weizel-inspired bent, robo-arms moving up and down in the air dance. Yeah, I’m going to this.
My Vote: 5

Devendra Banhart and the Grogs: Listening to his music on grooveshark, I could have convinced myself that every song was written and performed by someone different. Carmensita is an upbeat Latin song that borders on being kind of romantic (??!?), Little Yellow Spider is a confident folky song about spiders, squids and monkeys (??!?), and Chinese Children is a bluesy-rock song about how regardless of where he lived he’s have Chinese children and no he’s not Chinese (??!?). He’s also great on a guitar, with mad fingerpicking skills. Fingerpicking is a favorite of mine due in large part to the fact that my dad is great at it. His Train Song has lots of it and it was always my favorite growing up. (Sidenote: Dad, For Christmas this year, I want a recording of you playing Train Song. Thanks!) Bottom line: I want to see anyone who is that versatile and can make me (??!?) three times in one six sentence review.
My Vote: 4

Also, I did a quick search of D bands to prove to myself that there are lots of bad D bands so the fact that I liked these five had nothing to do with the fact that they started with the letter D and that there was some special musical power associated with that letter. Weird thing though…looking at the list I found myself thinking He’s great! or They’re super talented or Love them about every five bands, so I have was unable to disprove the magical musical potency of the D. If you’re starting a band out there, you’d be wise to use this letter and its power.

August 9, 2010

squirrels.

Filed under: Uncategorized — prothro @ 1:29 pm

What do you think of squirrels?

Cute? Cuddly? Precious? Playful? Harmless?

Well, you are wrong. And I am going to tell you why–because if there is one thing people like on a Monday morning, it is being told why they are wrong, and I like to give people what they want.

Squirrels are wretched, conniving, malicious little thieves. In cute furry clothing. Don’t let the bushy tail fool you or when you’re not looking they’ll take you for all you’re worth, build a house in your trees and frame your dog.

Perhaps I need to explain.

Our backyard is my favorite part of our house. I love sitting underneath those big oak trees, so we invested in some patio furniture. A table, six chairs and nice comfy cushions.

Well, during the winter I started noticing small holes in the cushions, holes that grew into bigger holes, holes from which cushion stuffing started to disappear. Well, naturally I assumed Molly was destroying our outdoor oasis. She likes destroying things so the assumption fit well. She tore a Kong to pieces in less that 3 minutes. It wasn’t beyond her.

Then one day when I was drinking my tea and reading on the couch, Molly started barking like crazy. I knew the cause before I looked up: a squirrel. Molly’s life goal is to catch a squirrel. Then what, I’m not sure, but she really wants to catch one. It was at this moment that I came to realize her true motive for squirrel hunting. She had gotten into trouble for the squirrels bad deeds. The proof was before my eyes–a squirrel chewing into our cushions, grabbing a mouthful of stuffing and running back to safety in the canopy of the overhanging oaks.  I was furious. I was baffled. I proceeded to haul every last cushion into the spare bedroom away from those beastly little varmints. Then I did the only thing I could do–searched the internet for videos of squirrel sabotage to make sure I wasn’t crazy–and I’m not!! At least about this…\

Further proof of my sanity came when a friend noticed more of the squirrels handy work while lounging in our hammock. High above the trees of my backyard is a giant squirrel nest–a two foot fluff ball composed of the innards of my patio cushions. Jerks. They we’re just rubbing it in by putting it right there. They knew we were going to see it. And they knew there was nothing we could do about it either.

After winter ended, I reluctantly put the cushions back outside. Poor vulnerable cushions, just waiting to be ripped and ravaged. It was Spring though and I wanted to be outside, so I sacrificed the safety of my cushions. And really the squirrels played nice and left my cushions alone. I decided to let bygones be bygones. I wouldn’t harbor bitterness in my heart and I wouldn’t spread news of their true horrible nature on my blog. I forgave the squirrels. Well then you know what they did? They started this mess all over again. And that’s just greedy. It’s hot outside so why would they even need fluff? They’re just being jerks. Because that’s what they are. So now you know. Squirrels are wretched.

Ninja attack squirrel

Okay, they are cute and cuddly. But wretched too.

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