the secret lives of prothros.

March 10, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — prothro @ 1:08 pm

Last night I had a bad dream.

No monsters. No falling. No killer clowns. No showing up to a school presentation in my underwear.

Last night I dreamed of my life without Evan. I dreamed I was single, being set up on dates and wishing to be with Evan with no hope of that being reality.

I hated that dream. I hated feeling disconnected from my greatest earthly blessing, from my other half.

It was just all wrong.

I woke up eager to snap back to reality, but the emotions of my dream induced separation were lingering.

There was my sweet husband lying beside me, but I still felt the sting of being without him. The numb pain of losing the joy he brings to my life.

So, bright and early this morning I woke him up, told him about my nightmare, made him reassure me that we were still married and that we would be married as long as I lived.

He made a joke about him dying first. I told him that wasn’t an option. Also, not very funny.

His reassurance didn’t shake the dreamy feelings that still clung to my heart. So I clung to him instead, hoping to hold him so tightly that those feelings were pushed aside.

It only kind of worked.

I told him I loved him over and over again and then headed out the door to meet my CORE girls for breakfast and board games at Rudy’s before school started.

I’m writing this to help me always remember how lucky I am.

My husband makes the thought of singleness a nightmare.

He’s that good.

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