the secret lives of prothros.

February 2, 2010


Filed under: Uncategorized — prothro @ 3:15 pm

I’m currently feeling ashamed and terribly embarrassed. And after half an hour of burying my head in the couch cushions, I turn to you, dear internet. I’m just going to let my shame out there and hope it ends up being therapeutic. Or at least mildly entertaining to you, so my embarrassment is not in vain.

So today was a bad day. The worst I’ve had in a very long time.

Let me just be blunt, nothing went well today and I was quite frightened that my lost sanity would not be returning.

So in the midst of this bad day, I went grocery shopping. I bought myself a Coke Zero and a magazine in hopes of lifting my spirits. Well apparently, my coke zero, lacking in delicious calories, wasn’t enough to do the trick. So I turned to something a little more heavy hitting. A much guiltier pleasure.

Reality tv.

I decided to watch The Bachelor while I did a few chores around the house. I turned it up pretty loud, to drown out the whines of my dog  coming from her room. She’d been driving me crazy and we needed a time-out from each other.

So I’m watching The Bachelor: On The Wings of Love.

I bet you think that is the peak of my embarrassment don’t you? Nope. Not today. So 55 minutes into the ridiculous soap opera that is the Bachelor, I remember that last night Evan and I had turned the outside speakers on to listen to some music while we sat in the hot tub. I’m sure he had turned them back off. He’s very good about remembering that. But I wasn’t sure, so I peak my head outside to check.


I realize that I have been blaring the ridiculous dialogue of the Bachelor through my backyard and into the entire neighborhood. And it was loud. Very loud.

Mortified, I ran back inside, lunged at our amp and hit the little black button that would save my neighbors from the ridiculous torture to which I had unwittingly been submitting them.

Maybe no one heard, you say? Not through their houses! Did I mention it was loud? Very loud? I was drowning out Molly’s whimpers so it was up far above normal level. Did I mention today is a school holiday? So kids are out today, playing in the streets, frolicking in their backyards and having to listen to Jake reassure girls that “It’s okay to fall” and “It’s not about sex appeal, it’s about heart appeal.” Gag.

I formally apologize to any children I hurt through my watching of the Bachelor. It was wrong of me. And I’m sorry

So then I curled up in the corner of my couch, horrified by my realization and amazed that my bad day could so suddenly get so much worse.

And then I finished watching the Bachelor.

Moral of the story is don’t watch horrible reality tv–because you never know who you could be hurting. But also if the damage is done, go ahead and finish the episode anyways–especially if you’re having a no good, very bad day. 🙂

For more fun, embarssing stories head over here.



  1. Aww Julie, you truly are family. I have had so many of those days, and I even have to admit I watched the bachelor myself last night, so I smiled and laughed and felt your pain, sister 🙂

    Comment by ashley — February 2, 2010 @ 4:06 pm

  2. Are you watching next week???? Now that you are Bachelor-savvy!

    Comment by cynthiattaylor — February 2, 2010 @ 4:36 pm

  3. Oh dear goodness that’s funny. My sweet friend…I love you! Have a better day tomorrow!

    Comment by Laura — February 2, 2010 @ 10:21 pm

  4. I too confess my need for a Bachelor-watchers’-guilt support group. Need to get it all out…

    Comment by pa — February 3, 2010 @ 9:18 am

  5. the virgin got bounced! tragedy eh?

    Comment by dw — February 3, 2010 @ 12:08 pm

  6. Bahahahaha. I find awkwardness absolutely and inexorably hilarious… Needless to say that has gotten me into some trouble.

    Comment by Brad — February 3, 2010 @ 4:40 pm

  7. Oh my gosh, I can hardly stand it. That is too funny. Wonderful confessio-oh, I mean, wonderful blog, Julie!

    Comment by Chris — February 3, 2010 @ 6:32 pm

  8. Haha! OMG, we have ALL done ridiculously embarrassing things like that. I promise, things will be okay!!

    Comment by Brae — February 15, 2010 @ 10:51 am

  9. Where I come from we don’t get much of this sort of writing. Need to hunt around all over the globe for such relevant info. I ‘m thankful for your energy. How do I find your other articles?!

    Comment by Ella — May 27, 2013 @ 11:33 am

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